The Blog with the Disability

I have a disability.

I have a vacuuming disability.

No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I think about it before I begin I, for some reason, always end up vacuuming backwards.

Now in the great scheme of things vacuums are meant to follow along behind you as you move. When you are vacuum disabled and vacuum backwards this does not work. You constantly have to shove the vacuum backwards with your foot as you move. This of course ensures that the vacuum will get tangled in the cord and will not actually go anywhere, rendering one's foot rather sore. Usually at this point in time I try to establish correct vacuuming position by turning around. This usually results in having the hose wound around my legs rendering me incapable of moving. And so it continues.

Boy child has been known to watch me vacuum for his own amusement - he enjoys it when I vacuum when he has friends over. Then he can prove to them how stupid his mother is.

So after years of trying to correct my vacuuming technique I have recently decided not to bother anymore. The angst of knowing I do something against all known rules of the universe is beginning to sit more comfortably with me. I feel like I am finally a rebel!

Besides which if you schedule the vacuuming for 15 minutes before the commencement of happy hour - who actually gives a f#ck?????

Adios!