The Blog with the boring Sunday

OK so I knew somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind that having a holiday always results in a consequence. Today I found it. Or rather I noticed it. My house has apparently been overtaken by dirt, filth and mess. This surprises me mainly because while I was away nobody was living here - yet the small amount of said dirt, filth and mess I left behind has apparently been fermenting away with the result being a house that may very well soon be condemned. So having not much else to do on this very lazy Sunday I rolled up my sleeves and went to work.

Snapshot of my day:-

Clean kitchen, clean oven, stack dishwasher, turn dishwasher on. Do 3 loads of washing, hang out 3 loads of washing, stop hanging out washing and return washing to washing machine as boy child has obviously left wad of tissues in a pocket and all clothes covered with fine white substance, redo 3 loads of washing, rehang out 3 loads of washing, notice all whitish garments are now grey - spy boy child's new black jeans in washing.

Lesson learned: Do not attempt clothes washing manoeuvre with hangover.

Clean out fridge, sweep and mop floors, iron 2 baskets of clothes, repair boy child's school pants with iron on patch, boy child's school pants now consist completely of iron on patches - does not seem to be any original material remaining. Vacuum cat, worm shagpile rug.

Lesson learned: Cat and shagpile rug look similar with hangover - do not attemp worming manoeuvre.

Make boy child hearty breakfast of coffee and vegemite on toast - let him eat chocolate cake and coke as he wanted in the first place. Eat toast and drink coffee myself.

Lesson learned: Do not attempt teenage feeding manoeuvre - EVER!

Thoughts turn to outside and neglected garden. Don daggy clothes and gumboots and venture outside into nature. FUCK it's fucking COLD in nature. Figure nature has been here much much longer than self and will continue to be here despite self's lazy slutty ways. Adopt re-entry position (ie run inside).

Lesson learned: Do not attempt gardening manoeuvre when inside open fire is roaring and couch is demanding my presence in a horizontal position.

Nap-time.

Lesson learned: When waking from nap-time make sure you are waking naturally and not because boy child's face is two inches away from yours and he is hitting you in the shoulder whilst in a very loud voice saying "mum such and such and such and such are here - remember you invited them for DINNER" - also note: try to nap in good clothes and full makeup - it saves a lot of time. Oh also having something prepared to feed people that you have invited over for meal is not such a bad thing to do either.

It's amazing how one can blame jetlag for EVERYTHING - I am getting away with stuff I never dreamed possible. I wonder how long it can last? What is the statute of limitations on jetlag excuses? I am sure I will find out - cos I aint gonna stop using it till somebody tells me that I am full of shit and to get over myself. Most likely that will come from boy child. In any event.....

She'll be right!