The Blog with the illness.........

I, like many thousands of people across the globe, suffer from NYRAS. This debilitating condition, when it strikes, manages to render you guilt laden and aims at the very core of your self esteem. It is a condition that can be avoided yet like most sufferers, I have been thus far unable to take the necessary actions to side step a recurrence.

Even now, feeling that a relapse is fast approaching I am failing into the same traps as always and feel completely helpless to avoid it.

New Years Resolution Amnesia Syndrome is a medically untreatable condition and as such it is left solely up to the sufferer to manage the symptoms. The symptoms start to appear around the 27th day of the last month of the earth's rotation around the sun. These symptoms can vary from taking a quick glance over your life and the proceeding 12 months or to the very extreme heart wrenching "oh my God I just wasted another year of my life what I am doing where am I going...." thought processes.

These initial symptoms are then replaced with the actual making of the resolutions. These can be superficial in variety ie: I SHALL get my legs waxed every six weeks or I SHALL remove my mascara EVERY night before I go to sleep.

Then you have the usually unattainable resolutions ie I WILL exercise every day and I SHALL lose half my body weight to the generally ridiculous I WILL give up drinking/smoking/crack cocaine for EVER.

Sufferers with the more serious form of the condition will generally make major life changing resolutions ie: I WILL get myself out of debt or I WILL get married/divorced/turn gay/have a baby/buy a new house.

Now please do not misunderstand me - the making of the resolutions is not what this condition is all about. It is what happens on the 31st day of the last month of the earth's rotation around the sun.

There is generally a party involved, more than likely alcohol is added to the mix. Resolutions are discussed with acquaintances, shouted proudly from the rooftops, feeling superior to the people who choose not to make resolutions. We are excited and expectant and confident that our resolutions will mean that the year to come will be simply the best one of our lives.

Then the clock strikes midnight and there is kissing and hugging and toasting and cheering. The people who have resolved to give up drinking and smoking generally last about 15 minutes before the amnesia kicks in. The leg waxing resolution is generally out the window after the first wax of the new year. The diet and exercise resolutions generally have a life span of between 1 hour and 1 month. The life changing resolutions are just too bloody hard to even think about past 12.04 on the 1st day of the first month of the earth's rotation around the sun.

So this leaves me where? I cannot NOT make a resolution such is the condition I suffer but this year it will not be a specific ACT or a specific EVENT.

My resolution for the year of 2010 is to be the BEST I can be, in everything I do and every aspect of my life - I will do the BEST that I can do.

Must dash - have New Years Eve plans to make - after all - I need to be the BEST party girl I can be...............

2010? BRING IT I'M READY!!!!!!!!!!

The Blog with the baby bird....

I am deathly afraid of spiders, I don't really like snakes, and thanks to Alfred Hitchcock I have a phobia about birds.

Provided they stay in their own personal space and leave my personal space alone, the bird species and I can co-exist peacefully.

My personal space has been invaded.

On Christmas morning I opened the blinds to see a cute little fluffy baby magpie wandering around the lawn. I oohed and ahhhed and then promptly dismissed it from my mind. Upon returning home from various Christmas celebrations I noticed the same cute fluffy baby magpie STILL walking around the garden. Even with my limited amount of knowledge of the bird world - I thought this a tad strange. I ventured outside to inspect.

I had got no closer than three feet away from baby before Mum & Dad magpie (who unbeknown to me were loitering close by) decided I was a threat to their baby and attacked me. ATTACKED ME!!!!! In my OWN home!! I ran for my life (this is my recollection therefore it WAS for my life) and slammed the door. Looking out the window I determined that baby had a broken wing and obviously could not get back to the nest.

Boy child offered to help and after donning a bike helmet and sunglasses tried valiantly to capture baby so we could offer assistance. He was swooped on repeatedly. We gave up.

Two days later and cute fluffy baby magpie wakes me up at around 5amish each morning with a screeching that can only be described as fingernails down a blackboard, before Mum & Dad can provide him with the necessary sustenance he needs. We cannot go out in the yard without risk of needing stitches or having our eyes pecked out.

The girls are coming tonight for dinner - Girls if you want alfresco dining please bring your own helmet and eye protection!

The Blog with the catch up......

I start things and I don't finish them. I procrastinate. I have the attention span of a gnat. I get bored with things very easily.

I could use those reasons as to why I have not written for nearly 10 months or I could just admit to the fact that there have been many changes in my life I just could not find the words to express them or indeed even wanted to share them and see them on paper(screen). I think I will go with the former.

I am thinking now though that this may be therapeutic on some level to write about a possible adventure that could span a few years, lots of tears, decisions, choices, hurdles, to bring me to a point in my life that I have been searching for blindly.

2009 has been, without a doubt, the most joyous, sad, frightening, wonderful year of my life to date. I do not say that lightly. The events that transpired have the ability to fulfil my life to an extent I never dreamed possible or indeed on the other side of the coin (there is ALWAYS two damn sides to that stupid bloody coin) bring me to my knees and shatter me.

I have written about crossroads before - I now stand at the biggest one I have ever faced - waiting for a sign to proceed left or right. The direction I take could very well change my life forever and in the most humongous way possible. Yet the decision does not rest solely with me.

So I wait........

The Blog with the Party # 3

Party Outfit ~~~ $120.00

New Shoes ~~~ $ 80.00

Food/Beverages purchased thus far ~~~ $100.00

Realising most of your friends cannot get off their arses to RSVP to Party Invitations ~~~~ Fucking PRICELESS

The Blog with the Party # 2

So against my better judgement and to the chorus of family members who want a free meal and some music - invitations have been sent out.

Already I have had one couple RSVP that they cannot attend. Some stupid holiday in Thailand or something. I mean REALLY - can they not POSTPONE it?

So not only do I have nothing to WEAR, I am now faced with the prospect of nothing to wear to greet NOBODY.

Hmmmpp see if I ever have a party again............

The Blog with the Party

So as the milestone 40th birthday fast approaches I am all a dither as to whether or not to have a party. I have never had a birthday party before. At least not an adult one. The two previous milestones of 18 and 21 went uncelebrated - by my own choice. It seems quite wrong somehow to celebrate your OWN birth.

Then there are the decisions to be made if I DO have the party. Do I provide food? drinks? nibbles? what kind of music? do I need to organise a shelter in case it rains? what if nobody turns up? what can I WEAR????? All these things are steamrolling through my brain at a rate of knots and I honestly cannot find answers.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.................

The Blog with the first blog for 2009

So reading back over the last couple of months of entries, I am beginning to see a pattern. A "woe is me" attitude that has crept up on me and taken up full time residence in my head.

After some careful consideration and Tenancy Advice - I have evicted said attitude from Kath's Head under Section 3 Subsection a(iii) of the Tenancies Act "Thou shalt not cause undue emotional upheaval". Ok so the lines between the law and the 10 commandments have become a little blurry but this is MY blog so STFU.

It is the 9th day of what I am determined shall be the BEST year that I have ever spent on this earth. Ok so on the 5th day my brand NEW month old laptop had a heart infarct and at present I am going to war with the manufacturers to have this fixed under warranty. But even so I REFUSE to let this bring me down.

We ended 2008 with a GLOWING school report for Boy Child and he is approaching the coming year with some optimism and excitement. Going into Year 10 we are now dealing with the business end of school - he is thrilled with his choice of subjects and I am hopeful (as always) that 2009 for HIM shall be HIS YEAR.

I have a milestone birthday approaching - as I have wailed in the past about turning 40 I am now looking forward to it - BRING IT I say - it is with renewed purpose and a sense of accomplishment that I will embrace this milestone.

Plans are underway for a road trip I intend to undertake in March - 10 days or so of just meandering along a wonderful stretch of coastline - no clocks - no phones - no computers. I cannot WAIT.

I have SO much to be thankful for yet for some reason I lost sight of that - I will strive to make sure it doesn't happen again.

HAPPY 2009!!!!!