Boy Child's school report for half year came home around 4 weeks ago. I read it - drank wine after reading it - lied about it to people - then put it away never to see the light of day again.
However today, for some odd reason, I mentioned a comment from the report - and it made me laugh. It made me REALLY laugh. So much so that I raced home and pulled boy child's report out from storage and laughed and laughed. So if it is ok with the two people who actually read the crap that I write - I would like to share with you.
"Discovery" (new age term for maths and science) - Boy Child (obviously they used his real name - they don't actually call him Boy Child - but names and places have been changed to protect the innocent - can you tell I have been drinking whilst blogging?) um Has demonstrated good understanding blah blah blah he should ensure "assessment tasks contain the necessary depth of analysis" HELLO? the child is a MALE!
"Communication" (new term for English and everything else) Boy Child needs to improve on time management skills. Like - don't we ALL?
"The Writings on the Wall" - (his graffiti elective - I kid you not) Oh he excelled - fabulous I will make sure I bring said report to police station when I have to bail him out.
"Cabinet Making" - well he got good scores - I still dont see no cabinet that was made?
"Sport and Advance Sport" We love Boy Child - The sun shines outta Boy Child's Bottom - he is a born leader AND follower and we just want 25 Boy Childs in our class. (they are so gonna have him on their doorstep for Christmas)
"Living Experience" Mmmmm Boy Child had some issues here. He could not concentrate on task at hand (he is male afterall), he needs to utilise his time more effectively (not that he is training to be a man and spend all afternoon in his garage or anything) Boy Child could improve his results by asking teachers for help (HA like men asking for directions?) He has displayed limited understanding of employment and living convetions (um hello? the child is 14) He exhibits limited knowledge of household budgeting, job application and interviewing (did I mention the fact that he is 14? most ADULTS can't fucking budget a household let alone hold a job down!) On the up side he WAS well presented (in WHOSE eyes was this judged I would like to know?) and has an explemplary work ethic - pity he can't actually get a fucking job with his shit interviewing skills!
OK so at the end of the day I have had a GREAT belly laugh at the crap that goes into reports - I am sure some teacher out there will take me to task - but HONESTLY do we REALLY want our 14 year olds to know how to budget a household? I know personally I would prefer him to know how to have FUN - as he is STILL a child.
She'll be right!!!!
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2 comments:
I read it, and I laugh my ass off.
So there!
This is hilarious - the paraphrasing, the creative class titles (WTH any way?) and your running commentary about the idiot comments.
I'm thinking that if boy child has a good work ethic at 14 then he will excel at "living experience" when he's actually ready to leave the nest, regardless of what his grades at "make-believe/playing house" are. Besides, do those teachers add in surprise illnesses/life events to their classroom exercises? Do they illustrate sub-prime lending practices in catchy, beautiful packaging, and tell them how to see beyond the initial rosey glow? Yeah...didn't think so - cuz all those blokes are finance advisors, not highschool teachers.
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