I am all or nothing. That's what I am. That's who I am.
You either get 100% of me or you get nothing. I will take 100% of you or I will want nothing.
This I am coming to understand, is a very very bad way to be.
It was fine when I was say........eight. When your best friend for the day could be someone you never met before - but you gave 100% of yourself to that friendship. Of course it was over the next day when you found a NEW best friend. Things apparently don't work like that in the adult world.
And its not just friendships. In every day life I am constantly on either end of the spectrum. Applying myself at work so that I am in danger of winning "Employee of the Week" award. Two days later I sit staring at the computer monitor not having the energy to answer an email. I constantly have good intentions in terms of lifestyle changes that I KNOW I need to make. These intentions last about as long as a bottle of wine lasts in my house.
Somebody recently told me to the apply the 80/20 rule. If 80% of the time I am doing the right thing then for 20% of the time I can do the wrong thing. I like this in theory. In reality I have ZERO hope of ever getting to being 80% good. I can do the 100/0 thing or the 0/100 thing. It's just all the numbers in between I struggle with!
The quandary is that neither the 100/0 thing or the 0/100 is making me happy and I have no clue how to change it.
K
(Today's post sponsored and brought to you courtesy of insidious non leaving virus and free radical hormones - thank you and goodnight)
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