The Blog with the Injury

I have done some stupid things in my time.

Nearly drowned while surfing. Fallen down a spiral staircase. Received internal injuries from a hurdle being set up wrong (ok so that was not MY stupidity - just somebody else's). Knocked myself out cold walking into a door.

All of those stupid things have paled into comparison at what occurred 10 minutes ago.

I was in the kitchen - preparing food. My mind I admit was wandering off somewhere else but how much concentration do you need to prepare a salad? Not like I have not done it 25,000 times before. Get salad vegetables - get knife - chop. It's not exactly brain surgery.

A few minutes into the preparation of said salad I felt the most excruciating pain in my finger. I, for a moment, was too afraid to look. Sure as I was that I would be confronted with 3 gallons of blood and half my finger hanging on by a tiny blood vessel. Hell that was the GOOD scenario - the other part of me imagined having to rummage around in the salad bowl for the severed part of my finger so that microsurgeons could attempt to reattach it. I could have offered the ambulance drivers a nice salad for their trouble?

As all of these things flashed through my mind I was also making plans for having boy child looked after during my extended stay in hospital - work commitments - who would feed Ms. Lynxy Mynx. These thoughts took place obviously within a few microseconds but by the time I steeled myself to look down I had it all planned.

The site that greeted me was an odd one.

My finger was still there. There was no blood. I did find a tiny little thorn from a cucumber sitting daintily on my finger - JUST having broken the skin.

I felt so cheated that I had wasted precious brain power on plans for my surgery and hospital stay that I was sorely tempted to actually cut my fucking finger off on purpose. Also I am strangely let down that I won't be fussed and fawned over.

Obviously I must work on my pain threshold!

K

The Blog with the All.....or the nothing

I am all or nothing. That's what I am. That's who I am.

You either get 100% of me or you get nothing. I will take 100% of you or I will want nothing.

This I am coming to understand, is a very very bad way to be.

It was fine when I was say........eight. When your best friend for the day could be someone you never met before - but you gave 100% of yourself to that friendship. Of course it was over the next day when you found a NEW best friend. Things apparently don't work like that in the adult world.

And its not just friendships. In every day life I am constantly on either end of the spectrum. Applying myself at work so that I am in danger of winning "Employee of the Week" award. Two days later I sit staring at the computer monitor not having the energy to answer an email. I constantly have good intentions in terms of lifestyle changes that I KNOW I need to make. These intentions last about as long as a bottle of wine lasts in my house.

Somebody recently told me to the apply the 80/20 rule. If 80% of the time I am doing the right thing then for 20% of the time I can do the wrong thing. I like this in theory. In reality I have ZERO hope of ever getting to being 80% good. I can do the 100/0 thing or the 0/100 thing. It's just all the numbers in between I struggle with!

The quandary is that neither the 100/0 thing or the 0/100 is making me happy and I have no clue how to change it.

K
(Today's post sponsored and brought to you courtesy of insidious non leaving virus and free radical hormones - thank you and goodnight)